Movie Review

Movie Review - "The Simpsons"

The Simpsons have finally done it! Breaking into the big screens where 3D effects are a norm by way of a modest 2D showcase takes balls and that is how I liked it, as with all Simpson’s fans out there. It has been 18 years in the making, amassing over 400 episodes in the process [Trivia – an episode took 9 months to make while the movie took 18 months to complete], you would have thought creators Matt Groening and James L. Brooks must have been there and done that. But they come good when it matters, putting up a worthy movie debut which has all the elements of the good, bad and really ugly. I only caught onto the Simpsons bandwagon in their latter years but manage to catch all the earlier stuff from season one onwards till season 7. So suffice to say, I had a few years of Simpsons under my belt.
If you had NOT seen any Simpson’s earlier episode on TV, it would be advisable that you get hold of their DVDs and get acquainted with the eccentric family along with the quirky citizens of Springfield before watching the movie. The characters here are very diverse with associations to social groups we live with as well as spoofs too long to list in this entry. As long it is something worth poking fun of, rest assured that the Simpsons will pick it up and put their own spin on it. A brief bio - Homer J. Simpson is the head honcho cum craze-maniac of the family kept together by Marge Bouvier, a housewife of immense forgiveness and patience. The little ones are Bart Simpson, a mischievous brat and occasional evil genius. Lisa Simpson, the brain of the family who speaks her mind all the time and is the voice of reason. Last but no least, we have Maggie Simpson, the baby girl who has the artistic expression of a mime. There’s also the dog called Santa’s little helper but like we care.
The animation fest begins with a cartoon within THE cartoon of Itchy and Scratchy’s trip to the moon [guess who gets killed in the end?], thereafter, Homer branded all movie goers ‘suckers’ for paying to see a cartoon available on TV but nonetheless, we happily acknowledge that fact with a good laugh for which the Simpsons will certainly provide. Grandpa Simpson aka Abraham/ Abe has a premonition from the Heavens of an impending disaster befalling on Springfield after he was jolted from a dozing slumber during church, conducted by resident pastor, reverend Lovejoy. The gibberish from the elder statesman mimics the speaking of tongues, horrified the church goers who tried in vain to decipher his words. Homer’s response to Marge’s worried words of “Do something!” was classic, flipping through the Holy Bible and letting out “This book has no answers!” is a good start to this laugh-a-minute animation. The next piece of unraveling comes in the form of Bart’s weenie [a first for the Simpsons] as he skates downtown to Krusty’s after a round of ‘Dare’ with Homer. Handcuffed naked to a lamppost, Bart’s hopes of reprieve were dashed in his face when Homer faints ignorance and puts the blame on our little troublemaker, clutching on what’s left of his dignity and modesty. The yearning love of a father does come in the shape of neighbor Ned Flanders who offered Bart a pair of shorts and a shoulder to lean on.
Environmentalist Lisa Simpson’s door to door preaching on saving Springfield from toxic waste dumping had fallen on deaf ear’s but it lead to chance meeting with Colin, a fellow environment advocate from Ireland. Puppy love turns our level-headed girl into a shy, sappy teeny bop, melting at his every word. Homer brings home a pig after Krusty the clown forsakes it after a commercial shoot. Strangely, brain deficient Homer bonded better with the pig than Bart, showering it with love and attention. I am still laughing at Homer’s rendition of Spiderman’s theme song “Spider-pig, spider-pig, does whatever spider-pig does” while holding the pig upside-down to walk on the ceiling. When Lisa finally knocked some sense into the town-folks and got the Mayor to stop dumping waste into the river, Homer’s sugar rush to nab free donuts undo her work and send his pig’s waste silo into the river, turning it into a mutating toxic concoction, alerting the attention of the EPA [Environmental Protection agency] headed by Russ Cargill who went with a radical ‘DOME’ solution to contain the problem and hold Springfield captive.
When the news broke on the perpetrator who was responsible for their state of imprisonment, it sets off a lynch mob against the Simpson family, in particularly, Homer. They escape public slaying but before they can settle down to a fresh start in Alaska, Marge and her charges decides to return to Springfield to save the town from certain annihilation. Homer realizes in time to act upon his epiphany to rescue the people of Springfield through his crazy methods. Of course, it ends on a right note with Homey saving the day, wins Marge back, reconcile with his boy wonder and ride into the sunset. My words have dried up and I leave you with the best ratings to date, a full 5 D’uhs out of 5!

Movie Review

Movie Review - "Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix"

Where do I begin? First of all, I was utterly disappointed that the fifth Harry Potter movie is helmed by a rookie movie director, David Yates whose works thus far has been in British Television, mainly for BBC. Only award to date was an Emmy for Best Direction in a Made for Television Movie for 'The Girl in the Café' (2006). To be entrusted with a movie of epic proportions on his MOVIE directorial debut must have been a great leap of faith by the film producers and JK Rowling for that matter. More bad news, Yates has been confirmed to film the sixth film 'Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince' slated to start filming in September 2007. While the director succeed in telling the story but he left out the WOW factor present in every Potter films. Usually I give my movie ratings at the end of the review but this time it's a stinker with 2.5 wands out of 5!

My second displeasure is about the screenplay - The screenwriter this time round is Michael Goldenberg who replaced Steve Kloves, writer of the first four Harry Potter films. Therefore, it does seem a little disjointed for us to see the vision of another screenwriter at this crucial part of the movie franchise. But there is much reprieve as Kloves will return for movie No. 6 - Phew! Let me get another two more things out of the way. Thirdly, 'Order of the Phoenix' refers to a secret society formed by Dumbledore who uses their magical forces to combat Lord Voldemort. Fourth and most disappointing! The much anticipated kissing scene of Harry and Cho was downright SLOPPY and CRINGING! The scene should make it to the this year's MTV nomination for 'Best Kiss' but for all the wrong reasons though. My only surpise is Evanna Lynch, whose potrayal of the quirky Luna Lovegood is absolutely marvellous! Alright now, let us focus on the movie plot - Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley returns for their fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Heavily influenced by the propaganda of 'The Daily Prophet', the mass wizard community has shunned Harry and Albus Dumbledore's claims that Lord Voldemort has return after a 14 year hiatus. Unknown to the rest, the dark lord has regained his body and been restored to full power! A blatant ignorance of the facts by Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge led to appointment of a new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Dolores Umbridge who begins to take reins of Hogwarts through the support of the Ministry. In defiance to Umbridge's inadequate, textbook lessons which is devoid of actual magic, Harry founded "Dumbledore's Army" (DA), an underground organization made of 27 schoolmates that Harry teaches magic to defend themselves in case a battle with Voldemort ever happens. At the same time, Harry starts having telepathic dreams about what Voldemort is doing and saves Ron's dad, after seeing him being attacked in the Department of Mysteries by Nagini, Voldemort's pet snake. To prevent Harry from being driven to madness, Dumbledore immediately instructs Harry to take Occlumency lessons with Professor Snape in order to fight the Dark Lord's mind penetrations should Voldemort learns about the connection between Harry and himself. During one of their underground meetings, Neville reveals to Harry that his parents were tortured into insanity by Bellatrix Lestrange, a prisoner who had recently escaped from Azkaban. Harry assures Neville that they will make his parents proud and avenge their deaths. Umbridge soon uncovers the secret organization after finding out from Cho who was forced to take Veritaserum, a truth potion. To throw Umbrigde off their track, Harry and Hermione lure her into the Forbidden Forest, where she is taken away by a centaur herd after insulting them with assistance from Hagrid's giant half-brother, Grawp. The vision of Sirius Black being tortured by Lord Voldemort in the bowels of the Department of Mysteries prompts Harry to launch an immediate rescue. Harry and his friends then flies to the Ministry of Magic on Thestral entering the Department of Mysteries in the fabled Hall of Prophecy, where his friends discover a small glowing ball with Harry's name on it. When Harry retrieves it, it recites a prophecy concerning him and Voldemort, a ploy set by Lucius Malfoy to reveal the destiny of Voldemort and Harry. A fierce battle ensued between DA and Voldemort's Death Eaters (DE), their spells cause the shelves of prophecies to collapse resulting Harry and the others to run through the door and falling into the Death Chamber. The DE capture Harry's friends and Lucius Malfoy appears, threatening to kill them if Harry doesn't hand over the prophecy. Sirius and the rest of the Order arrived in the nick of time to foil Lucius's plans and unwittingly, smashed the prophecy into smithereens. Harry tags-team with Sirius to duel Malfoy and his DE but in the end, Bellatrix Lestrange's sudden appearance to cast the Avada Kedavra, a killing curse upon Sirius. He smiles at Harry before falling into the archway and disappearing. Harry pursues Sirius's muderer to the Atrium of the Ministry stunning her with the Cruciatus Curse. Harry then hears a voice telling him to kill her, it was Voldemort who swiftly appears and disarms him. Just before Voldemort was about to kill Harry, Dumbledore comes to his resue and a climatic duel erupts between the two while Bellatrix escapes. The battle ends in a draw while Harry falls to the ground. Lord Voldemort attempts to possess him failed after an agonising internal battle. Voldemort is ultimately forced from Harry's body and mind, prompting him to state that Harry "will lose everything" due to the profound amount of love that resides within him. Fudge arrives just seconds before Voldemort vanishes, shocked at who he had just witnessed. The Ministry is forced to acknowledge its error and vindicate Dumbledore and Harry! Finally, Harry revealed to Dumbledore the contents of the prophecy which Voldemort wanted so badly.....

"Either must die by the hand of the other, for neither can live while the other survives."

8 Days Letter of the Week

“Bite Me”
For every occasion albeit a celebration or unlucky in love, there is the perfect food to go along with it and your issue #878 personifies it on a National level. There are foot trails longer than the Great Wall of China when it comes to queuing up for cuisine in this food-crazy Island. Led by our 'Queen of bottomless stomach' Fiona Xie could be the most underestimated food hunter with a nose for tasty morsels. 8 Days have single-handedly put these 42 food establishments on the map of Singapore dining, pairing the moment to the food like a Sommelier would match the wine to the main course.
Food Hunter

Published on 8 Days Issue No.879 dated August 23, 2007

“Zoe-Pursuit”

With the most recognizable face in Singapore, I have been pursuing news about Zoe for years but no one came close to the thrill your magazine provided on issue 874. Watching her every move and gesture has me intrigued from head to toe. Holding out my magnifying glasses to scan details of her gesticulations, the clothes and accessories she had on while scribbling notes onto my scrapbook, next to the pictures you took from afar. Kudos to Zoe for being such a good sport for participating in this ‘Cat & Mouse’ paparazzi game bordering on the lines of stalking and adulation. The Xclusive interview with Brayden ushers in the birth of another new starlet. Welcome to the world of Show-Biz, Brayden!
Celebrity Bandwagon

Published on 8 Days Issue No.875 dated July 26, 2007

“Potter-Guide”
JK Rowling has finally begun preparing him up for a grand stand finish to our wizardry battle with Hermione and Ron in tow. My powers have almost fully recovered and my destiny with Potter will be revealed in the Order of the Phoenix. My return has been speculated and whispered in secrecy but it’s time to come forth and behold my dark powers! Your interview has given me more insight to the weakness of my sworn enemy and this issue will be in my back pocket as a reference guide when we are ready to duel!

Lord Moldy-mort

Published on 8 Days Issue No.874 dated July 19, 2007

"What's the BIG deal?"
"Honey, they have shrunk 8 Days!" perked my wife in her shrieking voice. "What?" I answered shakily from slumber. As my eyes come into focus, three beauties emerge in a tiny package of infotainment in the palm of my hand. Can it be true or is it my imagination that 8 Days had re-invented itself into bite size portions with the same wholesome goodness? Somehow, getting smaller has never been bigger in new perspectives and substance. The story on DOND briefcase girls have opened new looks to beauty and brawn. Coming to terms with earning $250,000 and how well it can feed you does makes sense of life in a nutshell. One thing for sure, it can buy me a few dozens of lifetime subscription to 8 Days. It’s a DEAL!
Deep Sleep
Published on 8 Days Issue No. 869 dated June 14, 2007

Movie Review

Movie Review - "Transformers"

“Autobots! Transform and roll out!” are words that will warm every heart of adults growing up in the 1980’s when “Transformers – More Than Meets the Eye”, the cult animated TV series was a mainstay in the entertainment diet of children, teenagers and reluctant parents who are constantly begged to buy that robot in the window. Personally, I was one of those who planted themselves in front of the television, hooked on these transforming ‘talking robots’ every week. The cartoon soon out-grown its TV success and eventually, was released into theatres as an animated movie in 1986. Every kid in the neighbourhood would kill to own a transformers toy [Gen:1] first launched by Hasbro (1984) in his grasp. Once word spreads that you are one of those lucky few who has a prized transformers in possession will soon be the envy of every kid on the block, all trying hard to be your friend just to have a chance to lay their hands on an innocent looking automobile that changes into an Autobot or Decepticon. Owning Optimus Prime, Megatron, Bumblebee, Jazz and Starscream will propel you to superstar status in the children social circle. Every kid will linger around your home looking ever so longingly at their favourite transformers which effectively is two toys in one package. Besides having the coveted toy, you must learn to say the lines as the character would and mimic various sound effects of transforming, laser beams and so on. Soundwave has the coolest but toughest voice to impersonate and it was just too much fun to pass it up. Fellow transformers toy owners will get together to role-play and simulate battle situations carried out over playgrounds, shopping centres, nurseries, homes and even in the bathroom.

Michael Bay’s version of the long-awaited animated series adaptation into a movie is heavily updated to reflect present times. Bumblebee receives an extreme makeover from a VW Beetle into a Chevrolet Camaro while Megatron transforms into an alien jet instead of a hand cannon. Soundwave is badly missed in the movie adaptation but a diminutive stick-like robot replaces the reconnaissance master of the original series wrecking havoc on Air Force One. After much pressure from fans worldwide, Michael Bay relented and cave in to their cries to have Peter Cullen return as the original voice of Optimus Prime [he does the voiceover for Ironhide as well]. Putting a familiar voice did well to satisfy the cravings of fans but the CGI graphics blew me away.

The movie opens with a lone rogue helicopter entering US military airspace in Qatar but despite repeated warnings landed calmly in its air base only to transform into a robotic killer aka “Bloodhound” destroying everything in its path, jamming all communications and stealing top-secret computer files. The pentagon goes into overdrive with the Secretary of Defence, John Keller (Jon Voight) seeking help from anyone who can make sense of the data transmitted from Qatar during the attack. Mystery hangs in the air and we were introduced to Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeouf – pronounced as Shy-Yah La-Bove) telling his class about the exploits of his explorer grandpa in between hawking items for sale in eBay and negotiating with his teacher in giving him an ‘A-’. Little does he know that his grandpa’s glasses hold the key to the survival of Earth. Bumblebee has been sent to earth camouflaged as a beat-up Camaro and brokered his way into being Sam’s first car for US$4,000. Being the guardian of Sam, bumblebee played fairy godmother and charmed his schoolmate, the sexy Mikaela (Megan Fox) into letting him drive her home. As the story unravels, Sam is taken on a wild ride with Mikaela in tow as the Autobots reveals their true identity, the discovery made by his grandpa and its mission to retrieve the energy cube called the “All-Spark” which gives life to machines before it falls into the hands of the Decepticons, led by the evil Megatron who will use it to destroy earth. There is much awe and humour to the Autobots when they follow Sam home to pick up his grandpa’s glasses. To add to the madness is Agent Simmons (John Turturro) of a top secret government agency called Section 7 to complicate things further and arrest the entire Witwicky household along with bumblebee who was captured when Optimus Prime and his Autobots tried to rescue Sam. As more twist and turns come into the fold, Megatron is released from his cryogenic state and the final battle is awesome to behold. The battle scene is worth the ticket alone as Shia protects the energy cube with his life alongside Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Jazz, Ironhide, and Ratchet. Those who aren’t familiar with the transformers will have a hard time following who are the Autobots and Decepticons in the street battle scenes involving the military. And of course, the good guys always win in the end but there are provisions made for more sequels to come as we see Starscream [F-22] escape earth and Optimus Prime sending out a signal to remaining Autobots stranded in space to come forth to earth. Great movie magic – 4 energy cubes out of 5!

P.S. - The soundtrack of Transformers is kicking with bands like Linkin Park, Smashing Pumpkins, Disturbed, The Goo Goo Dolls and many more.